


Without You

by AMercenarysKnife



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-16
Updated: 2014-09-16
Packaged: 2018-02-17 15:59:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2315252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AMercenarysKnife/pseuds/AMercenarysKnife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you love someone, how will you tell them? How will you handle their reactions? Only time will tell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Without You

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: THIS CONTAINS SOME HEADCANONS (like that Maine's given name is Jarogniew [pronounced yar-og-nee-ev]) AS WELL AS SOME OOC-NESS AND SOME OTHER JUNK. PLEASE DON'T BE OFFENDED. I ALSO DON'T OWN WASH AND MAINE. 'KAY THANKS.

Wash walks out of class, already heading to meet up with his friend, Jarogniew. They were good friends, and they had been for a while. He enjoys hanging out with him, even if he tends to be quiet. Wash walks up behind the other, smiling as he says, “Hey, Jarog.”  
Jarogniew snapped his head up from his book and turned a little. “Hey,” he mumbled in response to Wash. He offered the smallest smile to his friend, the only one who really ever talked to him.  
“What are you reading?: Wash asks, looking over Jarogniew’s shoulder. He’s a bit nosy, hoping that he doesn’t mind. He isn’t actually reading though, the question was posed to get Jarog to talk, so he pretends to be reading to appear a little more interested.  
Jarogniew closed the book, putting his thumb in where he had been reading. He let a low rumble of a chuckle run through his chest. There was something about Wash that just made his chest lighter and yet tightened it all at once. But he refused to let feelings get in the way of the friendship he had with David.  
Wash looks at the title, nodding his head and humming in acknowledgement. “Hey are you free tonight?” He looks back at Jarogniew smiling. “You should come hang at my place. I’ll be gone all break so we can’t hang out then, so if it’s cool, you should come over.” As excited as Wash was for break, it kind of made him a bit sad that he wouldn’t see his friend. He tried not to let that show.  
Jarogniew sat back and thought for a moment. Of the few people he had ever brought to his house, his parents seemed to like David the best. Plus, he wouldn’t be leaving for his hometown until later in the evening on the first day of spring break. “Sure,” he replied with a small smirk on his features. Inside, he was overjoyed.  
Wash smiles brightly at Jarog, happy that he’d accepted. “Great. You can ride the bus with me, if you want, or come over later. Whatever’s more convenient-“ He gets cut off by the warning bell. He adjusts his books, offering one last smile to Jarog. “I’ll see you later. Bye,” he says, waving as he walks away.  
Jarogniew tries to ignore the tickling feeling in the pit of his stomach as David walks away. As the bell for class rang, he gathered his things and sent a text to his friend on the way to class. “Need to pack tonight. Be over after that,” it read. As he sat down in class, the teacher didn’t question him. He would have ignored it anyway.  
Wash notices the text a bit later, smiling a little. “Alright,” he sends back, just to confirm that. He was already excited for tonight; so excited that he couldn’t seem to concentrate very well in his last class. When the final bell rang, he couldn’t get out faster. He grabbed his bag from his locker and was out of there, walking home instead.  
Jargoniew sighs but quickly leaves his last class to catch the bus. Once at home, he was quick to throw what he would need for the week of break in his old suitcase and what he needed for Wash’s place in backpack. After a brief conversation with his parents, Jarogniew was out the door, walking toward David’s house. Luckily they didn’t live too far away.  
Wash was just getting home, having taken his time walking. He said hello to his mom before heading upstairs to his room. He drops his bag near his door, almost immediately going for his bed. He lays face-down on it, and within moments one of his cats is laying on his back, successfully pinning him in place.  
Jarogniew knocks on the door and is almost instantly greeted by David’s mother. He was fond of the woman and she was fond of him, or so it seemed. “David!” She called up the stairs. “Your friend is here!” The skinny boy made quick work of getting his shoes off before he was upstairs in Wash’s room.  
Wash lets out a laugh once he hears Jarogniew enter the room. In the time it took for him to get here, his other cat had joined in laying on him. He looks at the other, smiling. “I’d get up to greet you,” he starts, laughing again, “but it seems I’ve been downgraded from ‘feeder’ to ‘personal bed’.”  
Jarogniew let out a little chuckle as he set his bag down just inside the door. He was slow walking over, but eventually peeled the cat from Wash’s back. He absolutely adored his friend’s cats for a reason unknown to even himself.  
Wash sits up, immediately looking at Mitzy, who curled up near the foo of his bed trying to look as uninvolved as possible. “Don’t you sit there all innocent,” Wash chides quietly. “You laid on first.” She lets out a dismissive meow before turning her attention to Jarogniew, chirping at him. Wash rolls his eyes at her before patting the spot next to him, looking at his friend. “Have a seat.”  
Jarogniew can’t help but pick the cat up again, cradling her in his arms as he sits beside Wash. The cat mewed up at him giving him a stern “Put me down” look. He let her go before turning back to his friend as if asking what they should do next.  
Wash sighs, idly petting Buttons, who had suddenly appeared at his side. “I don’t know. I didn’t really think about what we could do. I was more…annoyed with my cats,” he says with a laugh. He lets out another sigh, after a moment, looking around. Shrugging, he lays back on his bed, yawning a little. “Sorry, I’m kinda tired, my head’s not working so well.”  
“Rest,” Jarogniew mumbles and pats Wash’s thigh. He gets up and snags his book from his bag. Damn, lost my place he thought to himself. He sits back on the bed beside his friend, remembering the spot regardless.  
“Nah, I shouldn’t sleep,” Wash says, knowing it’d be rude. But as he goes to sit up, Buttons moves and lays onto his stomach. He lets out an annoyed sigh, going to push her off. Mitzy gets involved suddenly, jumping over and sitting on his chest. “Oh my god,” Wash groans, laughing a little. “Get off,” he whines, pushing on Mitzy a little. She merely meows at him, laying down and rubbing her face against his hand.  
Jarogniew laughs a little at the sight. Two cats attacking his friend with no signs of mercy. He puts his book and peels Buttons off Wash to play with the cat. It doesn’t take long before he gets bored and offers a small “Downstairs?”  
Wash blinks, before nodding. “Uh, yeah. We can go downstairs.” He carefully pulls Mitzy off of himself, even though she annoyedly meows at him. He sits up and sets her on the floor before standing up and stretching. “You want to play a few rounds on my VR system?” he asks, already heading toward the door.  
Jarogniew nods trying not to seem too excited. His family never had the chance to get any gaming systems even back in his hometown, so getting to do this was a treat for him.  
Wash smiles, gesturing for Jarogniew to follow. "Come on then," he says, heading out of his room and downstairs, Mitzy at his heels. The constantly meowing cat serves as a good indicator of his presence. He goes to a door in a hall near the kitchen, preventing her from following as he steps inside. She meows at the door, pawing at it.  
Jarogniew felt a little bad about having to leave the cat outside the door, but not bad enough to let her in. The game was fun and Wash was kicking his ass until his friend's mother called them up for dinner.  
Wash laughs a little as they walk out of the room, smiling at Jarogniew. "Well it was a good couple of games. You did pretty well," he says as they go to the table. He looks at the clock after a moment and notices how late it is. "Hey, it's getting pretty late, do you want to stay over?"  
"Sure," Jarogniew mumbles with a small smirk. God he had hoped for this somewhere in the back of his mind. He had always wanted to spend the night away from home. As they sat down for dinner, he actually spoke up. "Where are you going for break?"  
"Just out of town, not too far I guess." Wash says, picking at his food. "We're going to visit some relatives, right?" He asks, looking to his mom. She nods.  
"Yes, we're going to see my sister and your cousins." Wash sighs a little, obviously not all that excited for that.   
"What are you doing for break?" He asks, looking to Jarog.  
Jarogniew finishes chewing his food before answering. "Going home," he responds. It had really been some time since he was in his home country. All the things he missed from when he was last there, four years ago. He was excited and nervous all at once.  
Wash smiles. "That's cool." He pauses to eat a little. "You got here freshman year, right? So you've been away for four years huh.." He sits silently for a moment, just a little in awe. "I'm sure it'll be nice to go back, yeah?"   
Jarogniew nods solemnly. In all honesty, he was slightly nervous to go back. He couldn't imagine the teasing he would be getting from friends who had undergone months of the same training he would be doing for a week! They were all rather muscular, much unlike his more petite physique.   
"It'll be cool, I bet. You should tell me about it when you get back, yeah?" Within moments, Mitzy finds her way to Wash's lap and he jumps a little. "Oh, that's right. I'll be right back, I have to feed them." Wash grabs her and quickly heads upstairs.  
Jarogniew nods, remaining downstairs with his friend's mom. The lack of conversation soon got awkward, so he excused himself, going up to David's room. He could hear her ask him if he had enough to eat, but he just kept going.   
Wash was just finishing pouring food for his cats, who were already clambering on him for it. He sets the dish in the corner, letting them have at it. He notices Jarog then, jumping a little. "Oh, hey. Got a little awkward, huh? Sorry, I have to feed them." He pauses, his hands going for the bottom of his shirt. "I was gonna change, hope you don't mind." He quickly pulls off his shirt, tossing it into his laundry bin, and heads to his closet.  
Jarogniew bit his lip and looked away to hide his blush. He quickly pulled out his phone to call home and take his mind off Wash's wow really nice body. He wasn't too well built like James, but more average. He hardly remembered to say hello when his mother picked up the phone. He spoke in Russian with her, telling her the plan of staying at Wash's house and about be home tomorrow morning before hanging up.  
Wash pulled out his usual pajama shirt from the mess in his closet. He mentally noted to try and clean that sometime as he put on the shirt. He sits down on his bed, Mitzy in his lap within moments. "So, uh." He starts, unsure of what to say. "Do you want to do something, or do you just want to sleep?"  
Jarogniew pulls off his shirt and sighs. "Doesn't matter," he shrugs sitting up on the bed with Wash. "Get too hot," he explained, gesturing to his torso. He started pointing to the bed and the floor as if to ask which his friend preferred he sleep on.  
Wash rubs the back of his head a little. "I'd uh, prefer it if you slept on the floor," he starts, reaching for some of his pillows. "But I'm not mean, if you get too uncomfortable you can hop up and join me; as long as you don't mind cats crawling on you." He says, tossing down a few pillows and one of his blankets.  
Jarogniew takes them with a nod, not really caring either way. He would have PREFERRED to be up by Wash, but he was trying to see the positive side; he got to be here in the first place. Without a word he lays down against the floor.  
Wash sighs a little, laying back against his bed. He's silent for a bit before he looks down at his friend. "Hey Jarog?" He asks, pausing a moment even though he'd get no reply. "What will you do after you get out of school?"  
Jarogniew shrugged hopefully loud enough to be heard. "Military," he mumbled. The only reason he was going to military by the end of the year was because of his parents. He would probably be going to some college if the military wasn't in his family so much.  
"Huh," Wash says, thoughtfully, kind of expecting that answer. He's quiet for a moment, thinking about his own answer. "Y'know, I think I'll probably join the military too." Even though he's said it, he's not entirely sure. There were a lot of options open to him, some fairly enticing, but military life had a sort of appeal to him. He's silent again until Mitzy decides it's time to crawl up on him and he lets out a sigh when she meows at him. "Guess that's my cue to sleep," he says annoyedly, but he yawns anyways. "Night, Jarog," he says quietly, getting under his bed covers and closing his eyes.  
"Goodnight," he mumbles in response. He didn't exactly want to sleep, but there seemed to be no way around it. He laid there until he heard Wash's breathing even out. Jarogniew sighed to himself and curled up tighter beneath the blanket. For an hour or two he tried falling asleep in different ways, none of which succeeded. Finally he peeked up at Wash and once he had decided his friend was asleep, he crawled up on the bed. He tried not to get to close and remained near the edge, but tried his best to relax.  
Wash was awoken by Mitzy crawling over him to lay against his side. He was disoriented for a moment, confused as to why there was someone else beside him, but eventually he remembered Jarogniew was there. He pulls the covers over him before rolling over to give his friend more room.  
It took him a moment before Jarogniew decided to take up the room he's been given. He was half asleep when Buttons wandered over next him. He tried to scoot away from the cat but had to give up once he could feel the heat radiating off Wash. Buttons curled up next to Jarogniew's chest and he sighed with defeat.  
Wash couldn't help his sleepy chuckle; he himself had given that same sigh of defeat many times. With that he fell silent again, and almost immediately went back to sleep, somehow more at ease with the feeling of his friend beside him.  
Jaroniew sighed one final time, giving up on any attempts to shoo the cat away. Between the warmth of the animal and his friend, he found himself feeling like he was in a sauna. But it wasn't uncomfortable at all. He situated himself and closed his eyes, finding a deep dreamless sleep with ease.  
It's around 7 in the morning when Wash gets the rude awakening he should've been expecting by his cats. Mitzy's clawing into his back, chirping meows at him, while Buttons is angrily meowing from the other side of Jarogniew. "I know, I know," he says, sleepily, rubbing his eyes a little as he opens them and nearly yells. He's face to face with Jarog, their noses almost touching, and he can feel the other's breath on his lips. He freezes up, unsure of what to do in the situation.  
The meowing of the cats was enough to rouse Jarogniew out of sleep. He didn't open his eyes right away but rather stuck his arm out to pet the cat he thought was there. When he came in contact with his friend's stomach, he instantly pulled away and rolled over to hide his blush.  
Wash flushes a little himself, the contact exceptionally awkward. He forces out a quiet "Good morning," before Mitzy decides it's time for drastic measure and claws his face. That's enough to bolt him upright, picking up the cat. "I know! Go wait over there!" He puts the cat on the floor, sighing and rubbing his face. "Pardon me," he says, rolling over Jarogniew as he goes to feed his cats.  
Jarogniew shifts a little, looking for a cool spot, before deciding he should get up. He wandered over to where David was feeding Mitzy and Buttons and leaned against the wall. "Sorry," he mumbled. "Couldn't sleep on the floor."  
"It's okay," Wash says, yawning. "I invited you up if that was the case. I uh, I guess the cats wanted most of the bed." He laughs a little awkwardly before yawning again. He goes over to the mirror in his room to look at his face, even though it was fairly dim in the room. Luckily, the scratches weren't bleeding. "Well, this was a lovely way to wake up," Wash comments, rubbing the stinging scratches.  
"Better than a big dog," he mumbled stretching. He scratched idly at his chest, not really caring that he still had his shirt off. He eyed the scratches on David's face; they'd heal soon. It was then his phone started going off. his mother no doubt. He answered, said a few things to her and then hung up. "She wants me home."  
"Oh, alright." Wash walks over to his closet again, picking out some new clothes. "I'll walk you back home, if you'll give me a moment to change." He's already pulling his shirt off, tossing it onto his bed, and then grabbing his new clothes and heading out of the room, not allowing his friend to argue.  
Jarogniew wouldn't have even argued with Wash  
if given the chance. He was sluggish to tug off his sweats and boxers before switching them out for new ones. He cracked every possible bone he could before pulling on a loose wife beater and actual pants. He tossed everything back in his bag and left the room to wait on the stairs for his friend.  
Wash joins him after a moment, sporting slightly wet hair and his new clothes. "Well," he says, stretching as he goes to the door, "let's get going." He opens the door and heads out, walking down his driveway. He's a little interested in Jarog's family, seeing how he doesn't talk about them much, but he doesn't talk much anyways. After a moment, his curiousity gets the better of him. "So what's your family like?"  
Jarogniew shrugged as slips on his shoes and scurries out the door. "Athletic," was his word of choice. Everyone in his family, even his mother and father had been in some kind of war and definitely had some kind of scar to prove it. He didn't like thinking about the one his grandmother was so fond of. "Military family."  
Wash nods a little; he guesses that was to be expected. "Yeah, I kinda figured. So they're pretty strict and stuff?" He asks, expecting a yes for his answer. Honestly he doesn't know how he would handle having those kind of parents.  
Jarogniew shakes his head. Yes, his parents had boundaries and curfews and all that jazz, but strict wasn't something they were. "When we're in our hometown they're more strict," he explains quietly. His parents have always been really lax with him and his brother and sister. Being back home meant social norms dictated everything for them.  
"Oh, yeah." Wash says, nodding silently, his mind a bit distracted. He can understand that, he guesses, but a nagging thought was hanging at the back of his head, like he'd forgotten something. And then it hit him. "Oh shit- I just remembered something, I have to go- I can't walk with you all the way, I'm sorry." Before he knows it he's pulling Jarogniew into a hug. "Have a good break, Jarog."  
Jarogniew blushed at the sudden hug from Wash. He barely had time to hug back before his friend was off the other way. "Bye," he mumbled hoping he wasn't heard. He would miss Wash over the break, but now he had to get serious.  
Wash hurried home, feeling slightly guilty that he'd left Jarogniew to walk home alone. But he'd forgotten to pack yesterday, and he needed to do so quickly before his mom found out. He got in and went up as quickly and quietly as possible to his room, immediately pulling out his suitcase and beginning to pack frantically. When that ordeal was over, he sat down on his bed, sighing, and slowly slipped back to sleep.  
The first day back from break, Wash can tell there's something going on. The school has the same air about it when the British exchange student Reginald arrived. He's quick to find someone he's remotely acquainted with and ask them what's going on. "There's some new kid, I dunno. What I've been told is that the guy's huge!" Wash thanks them and heads off. He needs to see this person for himself.  
Jarogniew tried his best to ignore the people who crowded around him. His physique had nearly doubled since he left for break. Maybe that was the cause for attention? He hadn't looked all that different when he looked in the bathroom mirror this morning. Out of everyone, he notices David and makes his way through the people to his friend.  
Wash jumps a little when the guy starts coming towards him, but the closer he gets the more familiar he appears. And then Wash recognizes who it is. "Jarog? Is that you?" He asks, genuinely confused and, although he didn't want to admit it, slightly afraid.  
Jarogniew smirks a little when David recognizes him. He nods, not really feeling the need to confirm anything. His friend really hadn't changed over break. It was like nothing happened right? The two were still the same.  
Wash was awestruck, unable to really comprehend for a moment. "Wow uh, I guess puberty hit you hard, huh?" He pauses; to say he felt intimidated was an understatement. Jarog was towering over him now, and as he just looked his friend over, a sharp feeling of inadequacy ran through him. He realizes he's staring, as everyone else in the near vicinity is, and averts his eyes. "So uh.. How was your home country?"  
Jarogniew only shrugs; all the attention from all the people was giving him an adrenaline rush. He took David by the arm and drug him away, pulling him from all the people. He takes his friend into the boy's bathroom and sighs. This had to be done, now. Before David can even question anything, Jarogniew presses their lips together forcefully.  
Wash freezes up, his hands hovering awkwardly in the air. His mind goes completely blank, too overwhelmed to really process what was going on. Eventually he managed to pull away, but even then, when he tried to form a sentence, all that came out was a soft whine of "Uhhh?"  
"Liked you for a year," Jarogniew explains, his voice deeper now. He backs up against the wall of the bathroom. It was hard for him to explain himself to his friend. He looked away, not out of fear, but out of the tiniest bit of nervousness.  
The words knock the breath from Wash. Suddenly he feels like he's going to be sick, or pass out, but he feels like he needs to do something and first he should really get out of here before he has a small meltdown. "I- I need.. Some time?" He says, not even sure if that was really what he needed. But oh, were his knees always that weak? He needs to escape more, and escape he does, dashing out of the bathroom.  
Jarogniew could only stand by and watch David leave. He felt like he had been torn in two. He felt like listening to the door close was it; everything was ruined. But despite everything he straightened his posture and walked out of the bathrooms to his first class...which was with David. Fuck.  
Wash paces, nearby his first class, unsure of how he'd handle it. Of course, the way he'd run out of the bathroom probably made it seem like he was rejecting Jarogniew, which wasn't entirely true. He was stuck in his own head, and his brain still felt overwhelmed. He eventually figures out what to do, and steps into class just before the final bell.  
His first class had no real meaning to him, so Jarogniew spent the time in his own mind. He was an 'A' student in there anyway. Every now and again his eyes would wander over to David. Maybe there was a reason he had run; he had just said he needed time right? A heavy sigh left him as the bell for the end of class rang and he began to pack up his things.  
Wash already feels like a trainwreck, his mind circling around Jarog's confession, making him absolutely useless schoolwise. He has to do what he needs to before getting out of here. Quickly, he goes over to Jarogniew, and before anything can be said, he hands him a small slip of paper (on which he had written 'We will talk. Come to my house after school?'). And then he was off, to the nurse's office, to convince her to let him go home.  
Jarogniew stared at the paper as he wandered to his next class. Every possible situation was buzzing through his skull like a live wire. God the day could not end any sooner. He quick shot a text to David saying, "I'll be there." and then one to his mom telling her he would be seeing a sick friend after school.  
Wash was easily able to convince the nurse to let him go home, and at the time he got the text he was just going to get into his mom's car. The drive home was tense, with him having to lie about why he became so ill, and it was obvious his mom was seeing through him. The instant he got home he went into his room and collapsed into bed. His head was still swimming and he couldn't figure out his own feelings. He ended up falling asleep, concerning dreams filling his mind.  
The rest of the day went by in a blur. Jarogniew could NOT focus if his life depended on it. His mind kept wandering back to David; god he wished for acceptance. Wished there could be more than unrequited feelings. He had never been happier when the final bell rang and he could book it out of class and eventually out the doors to the school.  
Wash eventually awoke with quite a start, his dreams never letting him forget his current situation. Reminded of that, he grabs for his phone, checking the time and finds that school is now out. It adds a new layer of panic since Jarogniew could be here fairly soon, and he was still unsure of what he was feeling. He lays back down on his bed, hoping that some decision would come to him soon.  
Jarogniew had tried not to seem eager as he knocked on David's front door. He tried to stop himself from running the whole way there, but that didn't exactly happen. He bit his lip when he heard footsteps approach and nearly paled when his friend's mother opened the door. "C-can I help you?" she asked. "May I see David?" Jarogniew responded. She stepped aside and he stepped in with a small "Thank you."  
Wash's panicky state becomes a bit worse when he hears the front door open. He slowly gets up off his bed, opening his bedroom door, and looks down the stairs to the front door. He looks at Jarogniew, getting his attention, and gestures for him to come up into his room. He then steps back into his room, and tries to calm down a little.  
Jarogniew takes a calming breath as he slips out of his shoes, leaving his bag by the front door. With each stair he tries to gather words to say, ANYTHING that won't drive his friend away. He slips into David's room and shuts the door behind him, leaning against it. And in that moment, all the things he had thought of to say, were gone.  
Wash takes a moment before he turns around to face Jarogniew. Everything in his head goes blank, but then it's quickly replaced with an overwhelming feeling. As he looks at his friend, he realizes his answer. He knows it's the one. And so slowly, taking a breath, he starts talking, quietly but certain. "I'm sorry. I don't feel the same."  
Everything around Jaroniew just shatters then. He swore the entire world could hear his heart being shred to pieces and even those tiny shred shattered. But on the outside he nods, and leaves as calmly as he could. The moment he's out of David's house he runs, faster than he ever had back to his own home. He doesn't even offer a hello to his mother as he sprints into the house, down to his room and slams the door. Inside he sinks into his bed and lets a few tears streak his cheeks. He hears his mother come in and feels her sit beside him and rub his back soothingly, but inside, everything is just plain numb.  
Wash sinks onto his bed, sighing. He knows that that answer was the right one for him, but it didn't stop him from feeling bad. Mitzy hops up to join him, as if sensing his distress, and he pets her to distract himself. His mom peeks into the room, giving him a concerned look, but he just shakes his head. She nods and goes away, leaving him alone. 


End file.
